


My Last Breath

by Winchesterchronicles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-05-12 06:25:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5655874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchesterchronicles/pseuds/Winchesterchronicles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>17 year old Castiel is enrolling at a new high school and gets close to Dean, the popular rich kid of the school and Anna, the beautiful outcast. As Castiel gets close to them he learns that friendship and love are what keeps our hope. However Castiel's past will catch up with him and he can't run away from this problem no matter how hard he tries. Love lasts forever but people don't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I think I'm gonna like it here

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who are supporting me and this story. Every read and comment makes my day so thanks guys! Also I would like to thank Madeline Williams for being my amazing editor best friend, and supporter throughout every chapter, I don't know where I'd be without you xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way guys, please check out my friends etsy account Nerdkeepers!! <3

CHAPTER 1 - I THINK I'M GONNA LIKE IT HERE

Castiel walked up to the school reception desk. Behind, a lady was typing away on her computer oblivious to the 17 year old dark brown haired boy trying to get his attention.

"Uh hi, I'm Castiel? I am transferring school today." The receptionist carried on typing and after a few moments stopped and asked him to wait on the chairs behind him without looking up at him. Castiel grudgingly shuffled up to the blue padded seats. There was a table with car magazines neatly stacked in three piles. Sitting down he started to think, what if this school was like all the others? He sighed and sat forward placing his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together. Something caught the corner of his eye and he looked up to see a boy about his age smiling at him as he swaggered down the hallway. 

"Castiel?" Droned the voice of the receptionist from the desk. Standing up too quickly at the sound of his name, his knee caught the glass table and knocked it onto its side. Embarrassed he stood the table up again, shoving the magazines back on the table with haste. 

"Oh my I'm so sorry" he stammered and looked down at his black shoes and running his right hand through his matted un-brushed hair. She looked at him with hatred. "Follow me." 

The lady droned on about his lessons and the school routine but Castiel wasn't concentrating. He strained his eyes, looking around the classes and halls just if he could catch a glimpse at the boy he saw earlier. Coming the end of a hall she stopped talking and he snapped out of his daydream. The receptionist handed him a map and a timetable. "Any questions?" She said in a monotone voice. He didn't want to make her hate him even more so he shook his head. "This is your classroom. It's registration in 5 minutes." and with that she turned, rolled her eyes and strutted back to her post, high-heels stabbing the floor with unnecessary force. 

Castiel looked inside the classroom through the narrow window in the door. He wondered if they would be different. There he was again, the boy who smiled at him. He was sitting on a table talking to his friends inside the classroom. He was popular, he could tell. The way he held himself, the way he talked to people, and Castiel admired his confidence. 

"Castiel, I believe?" Castiel turned around to face a kind looking man probably in his 50's. 

"Yes, sir" he stammered looking down again.

"Don't worry about them, Castiel. If you have any trouble you come to me." Castiel smiled.

"Yes sir" Castiel repeated, without stuttering. He smiled again, and was not able to stop grinning.

 

"Well Cas it's time to face the class." the teacher laughed. "You ready?" Castiel nodded and his smile faded. As soon as the professor opened the door silence fell upon the class. Castiel though it was unusual for someone to stop talking at the sight of a teacher however he realised with horror that they were all staring at him. Grabbing the wrist of his left arm, he walked further into the room, and that was when the whispering begun. Feeling the judging eyes of the students, he made his way to the only free chair. It was the one directly in front of the boy who had smiled at him before. 

Castiel sneaked a glance at the boy. He had dirty brown hair and his cheeks wore freckles like a garland and his eyes reminded Castiel of raging storms. He realised that the boy was now looking up at him and that Castiel had been staring at him far too long. Looking at the floor he sat carefully on the plastic seat. Aware of the students staring, the teacher cleared his throat moving the attention to him and he started calling out the names of the students, ending with Castiel's name.

"That's it guys, see you at lunch" The pupils flooded out of the door. "Oh, and Dean come here for a second. You too Cas." Castiel was unused to people calling him that let alone teachers. Hesitantly he grabbed his rucksack and walked up to the teacher. Dean gave him another smile. This time Castiel returned to favour. "Dean I would like you to keep an eye on Castiel for me. Show him round et cetera. Okay?"

"I'd be happy to sir." Dean replied with yet another grin. "I won't leave his side"


	2. The Song Remains the Same

CHAPTER 2 - THE SONG REMAINS THE SAME

"So... this is the main history block. The one over there..." dean noted, while walking down the corridor with Castiel, pointing at a building through the window "...is science and maths." With unlimited adoration Castiel gazed once more at Dean's face. He knew Dean was talking to him but he couldn't take his eyes off him and his wandering lips while he spoke.

"Uh Cas?" Castiel realised, once again, he had been staring at Dean whose face now wore a grin and was looking directly at him.

"Oh sorry... I was uh thinking about...Could you show me, if you have the time that is, where the art department is? I think that's my next lesson." Castiel blushed and looked down at him feet again. Damn. First day and he's managed to creep someone out. But surprisingly Dean didn't look too bothered.

"Yeh sure" Dean replied still smiling, stopping to get the map the professor had given to him when they had left out of his back pocket of his washed-out jeans. "I'm sorry Cas but History's calling my name. You got a free right?" Castiel nodded, concentrating on Deans' eyes trying to determine their colour. "Okay, so just head towards this part of the Arts block. Pass the Drama room on your right and turn left at the next corner." He placed the map into Castiel's trembling hands. Castiel folded the map into four quarters and stuffed it back in his own back pocket. He looked back up at Dean who was scrutinising at him with a questioning look.

"Why did you move school so late in the year of A levels?" Dean inquired. Castiel looked down at the polished concrete floor.

"I don't really want to talk about it Dean" Castiel murmured. Dean could see he was upset by this question and the past was something he didn't want reminding of. 

"Hay, Cas, I'm sorry mate" he remarked with an apologetic smile. "I didn't know it was a sensitive subject for you." Castiel nodded and looked for something to look at other than Dean's flawless profile. He gathered himself up and double checked where he was going for Art which Dean confirmed.

"I've got to go to class now mate. I'll come by the Art room at break, show you where to go after and at lunch I'll give you a bit more of a tour. It was nice talking to you Cas" Dean casually said smiling. Once again Castiel nodded and gave Dean one last smile before turning towards the door and rushing out into the cold winter air. 

Snowflakes stuck to his eyelashes which he hastily brushed away with the back of his hand. Why was Dean being so nice to him? He seemed to Castiel like the type of guy who would cast a recluse like him aside. Walking with anticipation he soon reached the Arts block. He followed Dean's instructions and was soon standing outside of the Art room. There were only two other people in the room. A girl with fiery red hair plaited into a single braid which hung over her shoulder, and a boy with blonde hair wearing a decrepit plaid shirt, both around his age. Castiel stared at the girl, who in his eyes, was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He entered the classroom and was met by a welcoming grin by the two students which was a first. The room consisted of 3 large tables in a row and artworks were hung on every wall. Having closed the door softly behind him, he hesitantly asked,

"Hay, I'm here for the art lesson?" The girl smiled, stood up and walked round the table she was working at to meet Castiel. She reached out her hand and introduced herself.

"Hi I'm Anna!" She said smiling. Castiel took her hand in his and shook it. "That guy is Adam" she said gesturing to the blonde guy who was still bent down concentrating on his drawing, his hand swirling round the page like fluid. 

"So where's the professor?" Castiel asked noticing for the first time, they were in there alone.

"Oh Miss Wazowski? She's hardly here, she just comes in once in a while to check on us" Anna smiles. "Here, sit opposite me if you want." Castiel pulled back the stool from under the table while Anna resumed her seat. "Miss just told us to do whatever we want on the first day just to get back into the swing of things. Use anything you want" she gestured around the room at the various art mediums, looking down at her drawing while talking. She was drawing the black wings of an angel. 

"I thought angels wings were white? Why did you draw them black?" Castiel questioned. 

"I'm not sure really" she thought, putting down her pencil and staring at it for a few seconds. "I guess I wanted him to look broken and kind of like a warrior and black was the first thing that came up in my mind. Maybe he's a fallen angel of a sort. I've never really looked into it before you mentioned it." 

Anna looked back up at Castiel who was staring intently at her charcoal drawing. Reaching out of his backpack he got out a sketchbook. Castiel had gotten it for his 14th birthday, three years ago and had always kept it with him. He flicked through the pages, sketches from animals to people progressing in skill as he got to a black page. Castiel felt a tingle in his throat and coughed, covering his moth with his hand and walking up to a tap.

"Hay Cas you alright?" Anna said looking at him with a worried expression. 

"Yeh yeh I'm fine I've just got a cold" he smiled, filling a plastic cup with the water, then making his way back to the table.

"So where'd you come from Cas? And why join in the middle of A levels?"

"Uh I guess I wasn't' really welcome at my last school" Castiel snapped. "Look I'm sorry I don't really want to discuss that at the moment." he calmly said.

"I totally understand" Anna acknowledged and gave him a half smile. Looking down at his notebook he realised he had been drawing while they had been talking. He quickly closed the notebook concealing the easily recognisable face of Dean he had been sketching. Blushing, he stuffed it into his bag and strolled over to the watercolours, picking out a teal palette.


	3. Point of no return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have one question for you... Who do you ship out of Destiel or Castina? Reply in the comments below xx

CHAPTER 3 - POINT OF NO RETURN

"Hay, Cas" a voice announced as Castiel shuffled out of the art room and he swung round to see Dean leaning against the corridor wall looking at his phone. Castiel blushed and looked at his satchel hanging from his shoulder containing his art book. Dean looked up at him with his emerald eyes and Castiel smiled, lifting one side of his lips to the dimple in his freckle woven cheek. 

"What lesson you got next mate?" Dean said reaching for Cas' timetable from his bag. Castiel rushed his hand on his satchel just before Dean's, which rested on top like a perfect jigsaw. Dean took his hand away and gave Castiel a questioning look raising an eyebrow. 

"I'm sorry... I... I have some letters I don't want to lose in there, you know official shit" Castiel apologised fumbling through his bag for his timetable. Pulling out his paint-splattered timetable, he handed it to Dean who was now holding an apple in his right hand taking the paper with his left. 

"Official shit huh?" Dean smiled, looking at the paint. Turning it over he looked at the map.

"Okay, so you have English lit, so head in this direction and it will be the third door from the entrance" Dean directed, handing back the map. Taking a bite out of the blood apple, he turned to Castiel and nodded. With his rucksack hanging off one shoulder, Dean marched across the hallway and threw the apple into a nearby bin. He turned his head to Castiel and smiled once more before lifting his hand in a gesture of goodbye and heading towards the door. Castiel smiled to himself and felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked behind his shoulder to see Anna.

"What lesson you got after break Cas?" She asked, tucking a loose strand of curls behind her ear, biting her lip avoiding eye contact. 

"English. What about you?" Castiel answered, turning around fully to face her. 

"Same I think, though we might have different teachers. Listen there's no reason to keep it from me. It's pretty obvious you like Dean I'm not going to lie." Anna retorted with a blank face. Castiel opened his mouth and then closed it again before replying.

"I don't... what do you mean? Like yeh he's nice but I'm straight no question about it."

"Good, because well... I was wondering if you'd like to go out after school tomorrow? Only if you want to of course. I was meaning to ask you earlier but Adam was forever taunting me since I admitted I liked you." Anna smiled slightly, still avoiding eye contact with Castiel. He smiled back and placed his hand on her shoulder, triggering her eyes to reach his. Her iris' were golden in the light, and her hair boasted the colours of fire and Castiel could feel the warmth radiating from her.

"I'd love to Anna" Castiel replied and put his arm around her shoulder, walking slowly to the door. 

"I'm sorry about earlier by the way, I just wanted to make sure you weren't... you know, before I asked. It was a bit stupid of me I admit."

"Nah It's fine" Castiel smiled. He didn't care at all, for someone in his life actually liked him for who he was. He didn't have to pretend to be someone else anymore. Castiel's smile faded when he asked himself, how long would it take before the truth came out.


	4. Oh Brother Where Art Thou?

CHAPTER 4 - O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU?

The typical yellow school bus swerved to the side of the road. They had stopped in the lower parts of the town, known for its bad reputation of trouble makers and school dropouts. Two children got off and Castiel followed, his brown ancient satchel knocking against his knee reminding him of his shameful town. Dean had failed to show up at lunch and so Anna toured the school with him after English, and they separated after school just like that. 

Placing his feet on the hard steep bus steps, he ran through the day events in his mind. For starters he made two friends, Anna and Adam, although Castiel wasn't so sure about Dean. He was starting to wonder if Dean actually had any friends, or even if he cared if he had any or not. He seemed to just float around the school yet everyone still adored his presence and as soon as they got chatting he would be intently listening.

"Hey, Cas!"

Castiel looked to the direction of which the voice had protruded his silence and was faced with 7 year old Michael, Castiels youngest brother.

"How was school?" his brother shouted from across the road.

"Alright I guess. How's Gabe?"

Castiel crossed the road parting the brothers and as soon as he got to his brother her dropped his bag and sat on the pavement step, where Michael joined him.

"He's okay I guess. He doesn't talk to me much anymore, let alone anyone" Michael grimly muttered, looking down at the cracked tarmac. Gabriel, their older brother was 18, one year older than Castiel. After leaving school he started work at a local garage but when they moved his lack of qualifications had took its toll on the young adult and left him grimacing in his bedroom, barely speaking to his family having implications on the youngest brother Michael.

"Jerk" Castiel muttered under his breath. He had always despised Gabriel although he was willing to show sympathy in his darkest times and was there when Gabriel needed him.

"Hey, Cas?" Michael asked, looking up at his older brother. His eyes reminded him of someone's he had seen before and his blonde hair bore a slight resemblance to a memory of Castiel's.

His little brother gazed at him with wide eyes. "Promise me you'll always be there for me and spend as much time as you can with me?"

"Michael is everything okay? Why are you asking me this of course you know I will, I'm your brother" Castiel reassured, looking down at Michael, the look of concern furrowing his brow.

"Mum and dad were talking earlier. They said you might not be here and -"  
"Mike, you have nothing to worry about, I'm fine I'm not going anywhere" Castiel cut in.

"But what about what the hospital said? You can't just-" 

"Michael calm down, listen" Castiel interrupted once again.

Putting his arm around Michaels tense shoulder, he raised his lips into his usual grin, passing the notion to his brothers face like a wave of content. 

Castiel pointed to the horizon surrounded the rose sky painted with clouds like a swift motion of a paintbrush.

"Wherever you are, whenever you feel down and feel like you can't do anything promise to always look at that horizon. Promise me that you'll always try when things seem impossible, to keep on going when all feels lost. I don't want you to ever feel alone Michael. If anything ever happens to me promise to remember to look at the horizon and remember me for who I was not who I could have been and to remember that I will always love you."

By the time he had finished, Michaels eyes had released a river that tricked down his youthful cheek and the two brothers sat on the side of that dusty road in the cold winters air staring aimlessly into the distance.


	5. The things they carried

Chapter 5 – The Things they Carried  
The following school day was like normal. Castiel had become part of the class, and although he had intentions on meeting new people, he stuck around Anna and Adam most of the time during break and lunch. Throughout his second day, he caught glimpses of Dean but he hadn’t spoken to him since he showed him to his lessons yesterday. Of course, Castiel hadn’t hoped for much. He could see Dean had his own friends. He was everything Castiel wasn’t, and had everything he didn’t.

The school bell resonated through the hallways. Castiel smiled at his own thoughts, and sighed. Stuffing his books inside his satchel, he stood up and pushed the stool underneath the table with his foot. He swung the bag over his head and shuffled to the door intent on making it out of the school before the juniors could get the chance. The entrance to the school was where the senior school met up after most days, where the bright yellow busses picked them up, and where the sixth form parked their cars. On a good day, the entrance had least 200 pupils. In front of the 4 glass doors were steps leading down to the car park, usually occupied by the seniors and upper sixth. Pacing down the steps rhythmically, he stuffed his hands in the front two pockets of his grey hoodie. After reaching one of the two apple trees at the bottom of the short flight of stairs, he sat on the steps with the wall on his right. He waited for Anna nervously, wringing his hands.

“Looks so pretty this time of year, doesn’t it Cas”

Castiel looked to his left and dean was approaching, his blonde hair waving to Castiel as he made his way down the steps to the tree. 

“I mean I’ve never seen you in the summer so who am I to judge” he said with a smirk and Castiel avoided Dean’s glance. Castiel just nodded. Dean shuffled to face Castiel leaning against the tree.

“So… I’ve heard you’re going out with Anna already, first day at school I mean that’s got to be a record” Dean scoffed. Castiel gave him a questioning and confused look.  
“Oh uh well she’s that kind of girl that… you know? She goes to every party there is and at the end of it there’s always going to be a guy isn’t there. If you ask me, she’s not worth it. She uses people, Cas.”  
Castiel just laughed at his remark and looked up at him.   
“Listen Dean, I don’t particularly believe that. I mean it’s a rumour right, and honestly do I care if it isn’t? The first time I get asked out and it’s by someone I actually like back, so can you just back off a bit?” Dean raised an eyebrow. Shrugging his shoulder that wasn’t leaning on the icicle decorated tree, he stood up straight and sighed.

 

“Cas, as a friend please just believe me on this. Why would I honestly make up something like that, come on. I know we’ve only known each other for a few days but I trust you. Wouldn’t you trust me? Look, I mean go if you want your heart broken but I’ve got a few hours to kill and I was hoping if you’d join me for a car ride and then stop off at a park maybe?”

Castiel shrugged back and looked him straight into his jewel laden eyes and his face softened. 

“Yeh of course I’m sorry Dean. That actually doesn’t sound half bad” he smiled. Dean suddenly reached out his hand to Cas, and he reluctantly took it. The touch sent an electric spark to his heart and he felt true happiness in for what had seemed a long time. 

Dean pulled Castiel up from the steps and started walking towards a ’67 Chevrolet Impala, one of the last cars left. Castiel took his phone out of his pocket once again and his fingers hovered over the keys, trying to come up with something to say to Anna. Giving up, Castiel put his phone back while ducking into the Impala, the trace of a smile still evident on his lips.


	6. Love Hurts

Chapter 6 – Love hurts

Castiel reached for his art book, rain starting to fall on the glass while they secretly passed messages in the silence. Castiel hesitated as his fingers traced the binding. The way Dean’s eyes reach for him, the way his fingers absent-mindedly tap on the desk class when he looks at him. Castiel had known him for two days yet he felt he had known him for ever. Castiel noticed things about Dean other people didn’t, and couldn’t. 

What must have been about ten messages all at once lit up his phone of which Castiel ignored. Dean gave him a sideways glance.

He sighed, almost laughing at his ignorance. What would had going out on that date prove? That he wasn’t the one at the back of the class, the one that was the easy target? Starting school again brought back many memories and most were not the kind he wanted to dwell on but Dean ameliorated the hours on which Castiel had no hope. 

“What’s up with you then?” Dean questioned, looking sideways at Castiel who gave Dean the same expression.

“Excuse me?” He retaliated, confused yet angry at his remark.

“You know; the way you won’t talk about your life before this school?” 

Castiel dropped his eyes back to his feet, trying to come up with an explanation for his silence and Dean swerved the car and parked it at the side of the road.

“Why won’t you look up? It’s like you’re afraid to admit something, or… I dunno… It’s like you hate everyone and everything and you don’t want the world to know what’s behind your mask of… of lies, Cas. Look at me Cas, your eyes they… well they bring life to everything. Before I met you the world was black and white, everything was so… so plain. But you bought the colour into my eyes Cas.”

Castiel lifted his chin and looked sideways into Dean’s, as they shared a solitary silence.

“Dean… We’ve known each other for two days, this isn’t some pathetic Disney movie.” Castiel said, as he avoided Dean’s eyes. He pushed the car door open and stepped out into the melancholy weather. Dean did the same and with two hands firmly pressed on the car roof, he looked down and sighed.

“Look Cas, I’m sorry okay? I know I rushed this but I can’t fight my feelings for you anymore.”

Dean made his way to stand next to Castiel who’s back was leaning against the car, hands in his pockets. Castiel glanced back at Dean. 

With one swift movement Castiel spun round to face Dean grabbing his coat and forcing his lips onto his. Dean’s hands caressed the back of Castiel’s head, his fingers entwined with his hair. In the space of a few seconds they had gone from being strangers to something else entirely. 

Castiel pulled back, rushing his hand through his hand and grabbing his school bag which he had left on the seat. A page of his art book flew out. He turned around and ran down the street, the rain disguising his tears as they rolled down his cheek. Looking back, he saw Dean still standing there hopelessly.

Castiel couldn’t show his feelings for Dean, not now of all times. He couldn’t bear to see the pain he would bring him. Even though he could finally feel happiness, even though his life had some meaning to it, it would mean nothing. 

After all the doctors had said he had only 2 weeks.


	7. Soul Survivor

Chapter 7 – Soul Survivor

It was nearly six o’clock before Castiel got home. Slamming the front door behind him, he hung his coat on the hook next to the bare staircase and stormed up to his room, a sodden trail left by his saturated boots. He closed the door and he was once again alone apart from the strangely comforting silence. He leaned against his door and his knees gave away beneath him. With his elbows on his knees, his hands on his head, tears ran down his face. 

Muffled noises could be heard from downstairs and Castiel realised it was his parents. The raised voices suggested the conversation would be about either Castiel or his brothers. The whole family moved house and changed their lives just so Castiel could have a chance at being normal. It wasn’t supposed to be complicated. He wasn’t supposed to fall in love. But he had, and Castiel realised sooner or later he would have to tell Dean.

Castiel heard a soft knock on his door. He pulled his sleeve downwards so it covered his hand and wiped his eyes aggressively, knocking his glasses askew. Correcting them, he opened the door. Michael rushed into Cas, his arms tightly wrapped around Castiel’s body, his head rested against his chest. Castiel placed his head onto Michael’s and wrapped one hand around his neck and the other comforting his head, cradling his little brother. All Castiel wanted was to make sure his brother would be safe.

“I heard them talking” Michael sobbed into Castiel’s already wet jumper. 

“Hay, hay Mike calm down” He comforted, grabbing Michael by his shoulders and looking him into the eyes. “What did they say? Was it about you?”

Michael shook his head and looked down at Castiel’s feet. 

“They were talking about you. They said… they said that the Hospital called. I couldn’t hear much but it sounded bad. Cas please don’t go I need you Cas, I need you. Gabe...well… he doesn’t even look me in the eye anymore just because I talk to you. He thinks it’s your fault he hasn’t found work yet.”

Castiel felt a wave of anger rush past him and let go of his brother. He pushed the door back open and with a racing heart, he ran down the stairs, heading in the direction of the voices. He scowled at the faces staring at him as he entered the kitchen.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why were you even discussing this, I thought we agreed we wouldn’t bring it up in the house with Michael here?”  
Castiel’s eyes darted across those of his parents and rested at Gabe’s. Castiel suddenly felt uncomfortable. Gabriel had hardly left his room before so why was he here in this kitchen now looking directly at him, his eyes welling up with tears? Why was he looking at Castiel with not only guilt but sorrow? The silence grew until the room was filled with the feeling of uncertainty and anger and culpability.

“Your results from the hospital came back worse than they were expecting” His mother said, her voice strenuously fighting the tears behind her words. “They figure you have days left” finished Gabe.

Castiel felt as the strings keeping him up had been let go and what was keeping him together had shattered like glass and he was falling. 

Castiel’s body gave way beneath him and he was plunged into the most beautiful darkness, masking the pain he should have felt as his body collapsed onto the floor.


End file.
